Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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