i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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