so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
