I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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