Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
