she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
