I just made out with a guy for $7.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize