you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
what day is it and did you see me today?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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