um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
