I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
barbara walters just said penis...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Randomize
