After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
