those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
