so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
