I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
