new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
