Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
