new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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