She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
