i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
