my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
All I want is dick and wine.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
