its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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