We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
