found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
