what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
