Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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