Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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