You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
