Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
