I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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