my vag is so smooth its legendary
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
