i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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