who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
