party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
