Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I understand Curling. That high.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
