Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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