the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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