Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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