please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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