so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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