no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
