my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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