Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
