so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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