If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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