is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
