Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
