I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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