I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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