I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
