what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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