how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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