it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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