I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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