party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
