Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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