Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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