I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
