Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
