She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
