When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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